|
Post by Commissioner Warrior™ on Jun 9, 2011 20:26:07 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback guys, I love it. And with that, my final installment of my "Firewind Trilogy" is up. This one also took inspiration from a Firewind song, this time "I Will Fight Alone." At first I was actually going to go with "Warrior" (seems appropriate, right?), but I ended up realizing it wouldn't fit with the direction and tone I was hoping for in the RP. I wanted something that really seemed like it finalized everything and summed it all up. Hopefully this one did that. Love to hear from everyone about it, and how the three went together. ;D Please and thanks. And below is the song that goes with it.
|
|
|
Post by jackbull on Jun 9, 2011 23:21:32 GMT -5
Yo, yo. (It's been an up and down week) I just read your final piece and I have to say I loved every second of it. The main thing for me was that you had a thread, a point of emphasis, which you stuck to for the whole promo and wound around. Pain was the key and you made it all about that. Physical pain. Emotional pain. All the talking was woven around that particular point. It was the proper end as well to your weeks work. It was full of match emphasis and partnered beautifully the other stuff you've done this week. I can see how you were world champion once on this form.
|
|
|
Post by irobin on Jun 11, 2011 9:21:37 GMT -5
I shall begin by saying fuck off to Jack Bull. That done, it’s time to give my rival and opponent some feed back because I don’t discriminate.
I’m in complete agreement with the amount of effort put in here, it really does seem like you want to win this match, not just because you’ve put up three roleplays, and not just because you got them up early. There’s a real effort that’s gone in here, and that’s good to see. I want to face people that are trying and putting in the work!
The first felt like you were trying to recapture the style of your RP for the tag match from a few shows back that was generally considered to be “old school”. It was a good piece, but if that was your aim, then it fell a little off the mark. Perhaps because you were trying to write this piece like an old piece, rather than just writing the first one as a fresh piece? If that wasn’t your aim, then ignore my ramblings. The three pieces do give the sort of past, present, future of it all, telling us about Warrior and his past, but also the history of this feud through Warrior’s eyes and what he wanted from it and finally, Warrior’s plans for the future, even if they are to just inflict pain on his opponent(s).
The pieces are well-written, but then you’ve been doing this for how long now? Of course you know how to deal with the technical requirements, so there’s match relevance and a hefty dose of good old fashioned character development. It’s good to see it, too, for a while it seemed that Kendra was getting far more exposure as a character than her father and, well, she’s dead now, so it would be really weird if she was still the main character in your roleplays. It’s good to see the other side to Warrior, the part that is a little more human, but still a colossal dick that wants everyone to be as miserable as he is.
|
|
|
Post by primetime on Jun 11, 2011 16:20:46 GMT -5
(My Grades on a 1-10 scale). Dialogue: 7 Description: 8 Content: 8Length: 10Match Relevance: 8.5 Overall Thoughts: For this pay per view, as I said a few days ago, you really turned up the heat. I have known you for some time, War-war. I know what you are capable of. I have been sitting here waiting for you to feel inspired enough to open up the old bag of tricks and really unload on someone. You truly did just that. I loved your series completely and can't wait to see more of this return to the old. Warrior is a bad ass character, it's time that the world remembers that. As for this new series, I found nothing wrong with it. The writing was not only excellent but interesting. I do think Firewind is extremely gay... but that is a matter of taste.
|
|
|
Post by Commissioner Warrior™ on Jun 11, 2011 16:21:58 GMT -5
YOU'RE GAY.
|
|
James
Veteran
The EUW's Resident Superhero!
Posts: 917
|
Post by James on Jun 12, 2011 8:33:12 GMT -5
I first want to say that this week you opened my eyes, Patches. For the past month or two I've seen you as a solid mid-card level writer. That's not necessarily a bad thing given the talent that is present here, but I didn't see you on the level of a Jack Bull, Scorpion, Oblivion etc. This week you absolutely shattered the work you've previously done and it was good to see, as someone who's heard about a legacy but from I've seen it's almost felt as if it's been people kissing your ass 'cause you were the owner.
The first two pieces were strong, emotional, and well written. It was the capstone piece however that truly shattered the expectations. It was so simple and yet it was pulled off at the perfect time, with the perfect set up and it was a thing of beauty. The introduction with Michael Lee Stanley and how it's nothing but a legality was perfect and the amount of time spent reinforcing that notion should've been cumbersome but it added a lot to the role play. It went on the perfect length. From there the thoughts on Jace were solid and in my opinion really capped up what has gone on so far, but also left room for this story to continue if that's the way the winds blow.
As Jaden said, I truly hope this effort continues. I think the biggest thing was you got them in early and weren't feeling the deadline crunch. You allowed them to percolate a bit, making sure they were what you wanted as opposed to having to put up thoughtless dribble. It's something to truly consider as these efforts were main event where the character belongs.
|
|
|
Post by Commissioner Warrior™ on Jun 12, 2011 16:08:22 GMT -5
Thank you. I haven't put in a solid full force effort in quite some time, to be honest. I give some credit to my motivation as of late to both X and Jace. I've gotten so into this feud that I would've felt bad if I didn't deliver full force in our big match. So far it's been such a classic grudge based feud, all about the guys and not about something petty. Just two people having it out. I seriously am enjoying this current feud more than almost any other, certainly more than any in the last few years. It reminds me of my days feuding with King, in like...07. So yeah, I'm glad the effort showed because I really wanted to go all out. And I'm ecstatic with the way this feud is going.
|
|