CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295 
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Post by CJ on Sept 22, 2010 16:29:07 GMT -5
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Skye
Prospect
EUW In-Ring Announcer[/color]
The cake is NOT a lie!
Posts: 578
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Post by Skye on Oct 2, 2010 7:14:20 GMT -5
 I really enjoyed reading your RP, liked the style a lot. I liked the dose of humor added. Big thumbs up!
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Oct 5, 2010 15:34:41 GMT -5
Alright, I posted my next chapter this week. Let me know what ya' think, will ya'?
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Post by Obi on Oct 5, 2010 22:31:37 GMT -5
Damn,
Normally I don't leave feedback for my opponents. (I am Titan btw.) It's a pet peeve of mine. I will break my rule though and leave you some as you deserve it.
That was a very well written roleplay. It felt natural, was often funny at times, and just was an all around good read. As I sit here, I find myself at a loss at what to respond with, lol. I don't think that has ever happened before and believe me.. I have faced some tough opponents. I am sure I will manage something though and I will also do my best to post it early like you did. It's only fair.
Again, great roleplay. Coupled with the last one that you did, I can see a defined flavor in your work. You come right to the line of being like your poser (Stone Cold Steven Austin) but then pull back enough to keep it original.
Oh.. and I like Bad Ass Chuck Johnson as a name better. Has a good ring to it. Alright, now I need to get to work and destroy you.. lol. Good luck, man.
-Toby
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Post by jackbull on Oct 6, 2010 0:51:41 GMT -5
"I AM THE MISSILE MAN! I AM SUPPOSED TO WEAR THESE PANTS!"
Quote of the year?
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Post by The Sky King on Oct 6, 2010 8:56:06 GMT -5
I'm a grown ass man!
Gotta say..loved this RP. I love your structure too, it isn't overtly convoluted with tons of actions done in a period of like..an hour, but it's spread out other a few days, gives the character a more human feel. The dialogue between characters is great, well-written and it flows well. And the characters? Funny and interesting, and each of them are being developed at equal pace rather than one getting focused on other another.
Top-notch work. Well-done!
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Oct 6, 2010 16:34:45 GMT -5
"I AM THE MISSILE MAN! I AM SUPPOSED TO WEAR THESE PANTS!" Quote of the year? haha! Thanks you to all who left me feedback. I was not sure if my style was translating well enough. I was begining to wonder if maybe I should start from scratch. I think I said this before but, CJ is alot like me. So it is easy enough to get into character and let it flow. I really want to keep shit light hearted and have fun with this. I am not really a championship craving type of dude. I just want to have a feud so memorable that it defines me. Personally, I find the humorous, well thought out stories to be more interesting. So I try to write the same way. This is wrestling though, so I always work around that. And as for this "Bad Ass" thing.. I don't know who is changing it on my name. lol. It isn't me. It does have a nice ring to it though. I think I will keep it.  I don't want to copy Stone Cold though.. This needs to be all me. Thanks again for the feedback, ya'll. |
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Oct 26, 2010 15:35:27 GMT -5
Alright, my first PPV roleplay is up and ready to rock it out. I have to say, I wasn't feeling the writing edge for the most part. I think right now my head is just not in the game. So, if I dissapointed anyone (If anyone even reads my shit, lol) then I am sorry. I will try and get that spark again to write.
So yeah, let me know what you thought.
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Post by primetime on Oct 26, 2010 17:30:22 GMT -5
Didn't seem like you skipped a beat at all.  |
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Post by Obi on Oct 28, 2010 22:50:35 GMT -5
Hey Chuck,
I enjoyed your roleplay a lot. You have a very simple take on how you go about writing a roleplay and it works wonders for you. I have found that a strength of yours is dialog, as you have me laughing with your quips and events that come about.
You have a knack for not going too far in regards to fantasy and always centering on the over all subject matter. (EUW). The development of your cast is also a strong point for you, and this week was the same results. It also helps that your roleplays literally are funny at times. That is a nice change from the norm. Basically, I love reading your roleplays.
While I felt this week's submission from you was lacking in terms of a pay per view quality effort, it certainly was a great roleplay all the same. If I offered any advice, it would be to treat pay per views a little more special than the weekly show. Do not be afraid to put yourself out there and try something new when the stakes are high. People like to get a sense of things being more urgent around PPV time. I never really got that from your roleplay this week.
Over all though, keep chugging along. You have a big future in store for you here. Some people come along and you can just tell that they "get it". You seem to be one of those types. I think you just need to get used to how we do things in this fed and then you should be fine.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Nov 4, 2010 16:41:48 GMT -5
Alrighty, my next one is up. I tried to turn things up a notch and really knuckle down for some business to get going. I hope it came across well. Feedback would be great.
Much Obliged.
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Post by primetime on Nov 4, 2010 17:41:33 GMT -5
I liked it, man. Funny.. funny shit. I loved the Wanda part. You bring a hillbilly fun style to your roleplays. Very cool. One thing that bothered me though, and I am nitpicking, is that you misspelled hummus as humus. I don't know why I was bothered by it so much. I typo like hell myself. Since I am telling you that it is misspelled, I will just go ahead and fix it to save you the trouble. Otherwise, great read!
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Post by The Sky King on Nov 5, 2010 21:06:41 GMT -5
I'll concur with X: Excellent redneck-style humour. It gives your RPs a definite identity and makes them stand out amongst the other serious-story style RPs a lot of people tend to put out.
I dunno, there weren't any real faults I could dig out. Your RPs are perfectly fine the way they are..CJs a good ol' badass, Vernon and Willie are great added characters to kick CJs ass into high gear for his match..I can't help but think Wanda should have been introduced, since the character sounds hilarious!
You've got a great balance and formula going: Keep up the great work, I say.
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Nov 6, 2010 14:04:24 GMT -5
Hello CJ,
If you do not mind, I am going to give a quick feedback for this one. The reason being is that most of what I feel has already been said. Your roleplay this week was prime stuff. Your balance of comedy, match relevance, and all around content is great.
Wanda needs to be talked about more, maybe make her a regular cast member? lol. She was funny as hell. There are no glaring issues to point out this week. Just keep up the intensity and there won't be any stopping you, friend.
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Post by Diabolik on Nov 9, 2010 12:07:05 GMT -5
I really did enjoy that RP, I can see exactly why you'd be a force to be reckoned with. Very interesting, I just hope my RP can match up to that.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Nov 16, 2010 17:03:07 GMT -5
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Nov 16, 2010 19:38:23 GMT -5
Another classic roleplay from you, CJ! I found nothing wrong with that effort at all. The section with Chuck getting pissed on by his dog had me laughing out loud. Also, the photoshop references were comical. A big part of fedding involves photo-shopping to visualize a person's character. Great way to play off of that. Keep up the great work, Chuck. You're better than you realize.
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Post by Kurt Noble on Nov 17, 2010 15:31:37 GMT -5
Noble Feedback - Dog Piss
Growing up in the deep south, I can appreciate the attention to detail when you describe the scene. High cut jeans, the personalized slang, all good little descriptors that give this RP a sense of realism.
While I don't love the concept of jumping multiple scenes in multiple days, it's good that you use the narrator to seperate these instances. The dog pissing part was good to establish character, but could probably have been done alongside something that gave it a bit more significance, but that's just my opinion.
There's a strong amount of humor in this RP, and it's believeable as well. Nothing feels too forced or too over the top, which I'm going to congratulate you for.
I'm a little confused as to the time that this RP takes place. Your opening bit implies that it happens in the present day, and then goes to the past with the dog part, and then back to the present day? Just trying to get some clarification.
Overall, I liked it. You have a good grasp of southern mannerisms, and have believeable dialogue. My only constructive feedback really is this RPs flows a bit strangely. Maybe it was just a personal thing, but I just had a difficult time relating one scene to the next. But overall, good work!
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Nov 18, 2010 16:58:30 GMT -5
Noble Feedback - Dog PissGrowing up in the deep south, I can appreciate the attention to detail when you describe the scene. High cut jeans, the personalized slang, all good little descriptors that give this RP a sense of realism. While I don't love the concept of jumping multiple scenes in multiple days, it's good that you use the narrator to seperate these instances. The dog pissing part was good to establish character, but could probably have been done alongside something that gave it a bit more significance, but that's just my opinion. There's a strong amount of humor in this RP, and it's believeable as well. Nothing feels too forced or too over the top, which I'm going to congratulate you for. I'm a little confused as to the time that this RP takes place. Your opening bit implies that it happens in the present day, and then goes to the past with the dog part, and then back to the present day? Just trying to get some clarification. Overall, I liked it. You have a good grasp of southern mannerisms, and have believeable dialogue. My only constructive feedback really is this RPs flows a bit strangely. Maybe it was just a personal thing, but I just had a difficult time relating one scene to the next. But overall, good work! Thanks for the feedback. Actually, I had messed up on the timeline when posting the RP and didn't notice it until you pointed it out. It should make more sense now. |
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Nov 30, 2010 17:04:54 GMT -5
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You bring a new style to the fed that is rather refreshing in my opinion. I enjoy the mixture of humor, seriousness, and wrestling related issues that you convey. I think in some ways, the whole idea of having no gimmick.. is your gimmick.. and it works for you! 
