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Post by irobin on Nov 30, 2010 18:23:04 GMT -5
I liked it. As the current newbie, I've gone back and looked over most of the recent RPs to see what people are doing and to try to assess the quality of stuff going on here. However, I have gone back and re-read all of yours, having read the most recent two and felt so fascinated by the character that I needed to get the full story from the beginning.
As far as I'm concerned, it's good stuff, well-written and amusing when it suits, serious when needed. Chuck is a definite character and I for one enjoy reading the roleplays. It's rare to see someone put so much humour into their roleplay without making it feel clumsy or unnatural.
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Post by primetime on Nov 30, 2010 19:30:03 GMT -5
I fixed your HTML. When adding that stuff, make sure to give it a preview before posting. HTML can make an rp look very clean but if done wrong.. messy.
Other than that, I enjoyed your series. Chris has his work cut out for him.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Dec 2, 2010 16:34:55 GMT -5
Thanks alot folks. I am glad that my character at least sounds interesting. I am having a blast writing CJ.
X- Stop editing my rp's! lol. Just send a pm. It makes me all nervous that something is changed. Thanks though for noticing the screw up. I am trying to make my rp's look all fancy like some of you guys do. I am still sort of a noob at it though.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Jan 4, 2011 17:45:30 GMT -5
Alright, I took things a little more serious this time. It's a PPV match, so I want to correct some past mistakes and convey that. Let me know what you thought. Thanks.
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Post by irobin on Jan 5, 2011 10:27:55 GMT -5
The whole roleplay (and style of roleplay) is much more serious than recently, which reflects on Chuck's character being more serious too, so it's good that it comes across like that. After all, Chuck's fired up after his last beating, he wants to win to prove he's not out of the spotlight just yet and to show that he's above the "new blood". It's an appropriate response to his situation although it does leave you to wonder what will be in future for Chuck, win or lose, will he stay the serious sort?
The roleplay itself meets all the usual technical requirements. I didn't see any formatting problems, or anything like that. Gives a bit of backstory, what with seemingly the whole town behind Chuck, and then mvoes on to concentrate on the match, too. Good, solid roleplay.
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Post by The Cobra Viper on Jan 6, 2011 10:59:40 GMT -5
Keeps the light hearted style you usually have while being more focused and direct. It brings you in and makes you want CJ to win. Good over all with a nice extra feeling to it.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Jan 6, 2011 18:02:02 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback. I shall make a mental note of your suggestions and apply them. Anyone else?
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Jan 13, 2011 17:42:03 GMT -5
Part 2 is up now. This one was more for me. I wanted to make sure I ended the week in a Chuck Johnson way. I had fun with it and just let my imagination fly. No matter the outcome of my match now, 'least I can say that I had fun if nothing else! haha.
Feedback is helpful. Much Obliged.
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Post by primetime on Jan 13, 2011 19:33:38 GMT -5
Very nice series, CJ.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Jan 25, 2011 17:02:37 GMT -5
Alright, my new one is up. I hope I held my end of the bargain as far as a tag team match goes. Let me know what ya'll think of it, will ya? Much obliged.
-CJ
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Post by The Cobra Viper on Jan 25, 2011 19:48:01 GMT -5
It was great. The opening was the funniest thing I've had in front of me in a long time. (and i'm watching the state of the union address so major props)
Overall i kinda felt it was a little short but great. it talked about the match about BRH's and the state of EUW so great job in my mind
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Apr 5, 2011 15:27:00 GMT -5
Alright! I am off to the races once again and let me tell you, it felt damn good! My first opponent after an extended "Layoff" will be a tough one. (Thanks Jaden, you dick) Anyways, let me know what you all thought. I will admit though, I typed up the second one while watching reruns of Hawaii 5-0 and drinking Tequila. So, don't hold it against me. "Leglocks and Drumsticks: Chapter 1 and 2" are up.
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Post by Obi on Apr 13, 2011 12:38:25 GMT -5
I didn't see any rust at all on you. Very well done. I love the interaction between your characters.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Apr 14, 2011 15:51:17 GMT -5
Thanks, Obi. Coming from you, that's high praise.
My third and final piece is up this week. I am very proud of it because I felt things just "clicked" for me, you know? I need to drink a 6 pack before I write from now on..
I went a different direction with this one. I want to focus on being a serious contender now, with the comedy still there but not the main focus. So, let me know what you all thought? I promise, I won't get all pissy!
Hell, while you are at it, let me know what you think of my character thus far too. Any advice for the future? Thanks in advance.
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Mr. T
Prospect
Haters gonna hate
Posts: 386
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Post by Mr. T on Apr 14, 2011 16:45:52 GMT -5
I shouldn't have let myself be convinced you were only doing two for this match >_> Looks like I'm gonna be busy over the next 24 hours!
I would leave some proper feedback, but it seems I need to get to work on my own RPs, lol. I will say from what I've read, good stuff. You definitely brought it this week.
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Post by primetime on Apr 14, 2011 17:40:28 GMT -5
I will say this. Your character is superb. He is very easy to write into the show and your willingness to go with whatever really helps.
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Post by jackbull on Apr 14, 2011 18:51:59 GMT -5
I think he's badass!
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Post by Obi on Apr 14, 2011 23:50:07 GMT -5
That last RP was pure money. I think you found your spot, man.
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Post by irobin on Apr 16, 2011 9:09:07 GMT -5
I almost always read your roleplays with a smile on my face, and that’s credit to your writing style. It’s amusing and fun, two factors that are sometimes dismissed in favour of serious, or emotional writing, but you write them well. The main benefit being that you’ve got a cast of genuine characters to work with, so there’s always the potential for it. Despite the humour, it’s clear that Chuck’s back and he’s serious about winning too. This isn’t just a title shot; it’s a chance for Chuck to avenge Jack’s loss, whilst also making a grand return.
It’s well-written, amusing stuff and classically Chuck Johnson. It’s great to see you back around here, man, the place has been missing Montana’s favourite son.
The above comments were true for “Leglocks and drumsticks”, but, unfortunately, they did not hold true for “Year of the Redneck”. I’m going to be very honest here, CJ and hope that you can respect that when I say that your second roleplay missed the mark. It started well, Chuck was angry, he wanted to be heard by the world and whilst I question your comments about Jack Bull being “screwed” by Kirk Kennedy, it was a gripping open to the roleplay. It got me wondering just what Chuck was going to say and do when he had all eyes on him.
The problem was what Chuck said when he did get the microphone time. Now, I’m not going to lambaste for making terrorism jokes or anything of that ilk, because that’s not my place and, frankly, I don’t care about that. What I couldn’t get my head past were some of Chuck’s insults about Tenfold… They just didn’t do anything other than turn me off of the roleplay. I didn’t find them funny and they read a bit like something that a teenage newbie might write, full of “I’m going to break you in half” and “You’re a retard” sentiments. Frankly, you’re better than that, I know this because I’ve read other roleplays from you, with creative insults that get a laugh. This just felt like a bit of a letdown to me. Sorry to say it, but whilst your roleplay had all the potential to be great, the press conference segment was a disappointment.
Character-wise… Well, Chuck’s a great character. He’s amusing, fired up and despite the absurdity of some of the situations he finds himself in, Chuck still comes across as a normal guy with a big mouth and a fondness for the booze. He seems pretty real, probably because, as you’ve said before, he’s a lot like you, and that’s got to be helpful. Makes it a lot easier to write and makes the writing a lot more believable, I suppose. I can’t really make too many suggestions about where to go with Chuck, he’s a great character so just stick around for a bit, string some wins together and you’ll be going places before you know it.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Apr 26, 2011 16:29:18 GMT -5
Thank you Jace. Damn good review from you there. My next set up is posted. Anyone wanna rip it apart?
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Post by primetime on Apr 26, 2011 18:26:25 GMT -5
You know, in hindsight, I found your roleplay this week to be much better than your efforts on the last show. Perhaps you are at your best when the expectations are not upon you? Either way, the rp was exactly what I look for when judging for what it is worth. Don't sell yourself short.
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