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Post by primetime on Jun 11, 2011 16:36:27 GMT -5
(My Grades on a 1-10 scale).
Dialog: 9
Description: 9
Content: 9
Length: 7
Match Relevance: 8
Overall Thoughts: Wonderful roleplay from you this week, Scorpy. You went out and searched for something new and you found it. I loved the new direction and the dialogue especially. This series was more reader friendly. It did drag here and there, reminding me of the length. That was really the only glaring issue that stuck out to me though. Overall solid effort from a World Champion for sure.
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Post by jackbull on Jun 12, 2011 23:02:49 GMT -5
Right, now Retribution is done I can comment!
It's fair to say you pulled the shit out of the bag on this one.
The first RP was good. We learnt more about the motivations of The Scorpion and the scene with Ashen was interesting. The envelope at the end was a cliff hanger that served well into the next RP.
Which is where you really won it. That second RP was absolute magic. It had everything in terms of character development and match relevance. It was emotive, informative and just plainly well written.
I've already said it to Jaden and I'll say it again here; I felt that not only was it probably the best RP of this period, it was probably one of the best RPs I've seen in a very long time.
There's really no competing with that dude. Congratulations.
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Post by Obi on Jun 15, 2011 18:25:02 GMT -5
Hello Adam, I am sorry it has taken me so long to leave you feedback. I wanted to personally tell you how impressed I was with your PPV entries for Retribution. I will admit that I was one of the few who had a hard time following your series with all of the Religious heavy topics. This time around though, you were right on the money. The series was well written, smart, and most importantly… interesting to read. It’s showing that you are catching on to the “EUW Way” of things. Raising the bar is natural to you. As the World Champion who was in an important match against a worthy foe, it all clicked at the right time for you.
Great job. I look forward to reading more.
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The Scorpion
Prospect
?There is nothing evil save that which perverts the mind and shackles the conscience." - St. Ambrose
Posts: 308
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Post by The Scorpion on Jul 9, 2011 20:17:12 GMT -5
To all, I was wondering if I could get some feedback for my SNV rp. euw23.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=rpsnv&action=display&thread=6382I am especially interested in how the ending came off, since it is meant to lead into the next major part of this story arc. If someone could give their thoughts it would be most appreciated. Thanks, Adam (The Scorpion) |
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Post by The Cobra Viper on Jul 9, 2011 22:20:13 GMT -5
Well I'll be honest i haven't been a giant fan of your writing in the past but this one just help on to me. Overall it was well written, thought out, and pieced together. so from an editorial perspective great job.
As for storyline. Great twist. continue a characters back story this far into the character show how well you've planned him and provides a continued hook. The best rps have a bit of everything and some surprises. This delivered. The use of the name and the revealing of a deeper motive to Scorpion is a huge twist and provokes interest. I'll keep reading you're work from now on.
Great work. Best of luck tomorrow. May the best man win.
Roy
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