Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on May 18, 2010 18:46:17 GMT -5
Alright. The loose cannon that is Chris Sabora is returning to the EUW.. with a vengeance. With a track record a mile long that clearly shows he is a danger to those all around him, how will Chris react when being reinstated by the new GM, Mark Rivera?
Perhaps the real question is.. will it be Chris Sabora who returns, or The Machine?
I would like to become more active in the OOC portion of the EUW so feel free to leave any feedback for me in this thread. I have never really done the feedback thing before but rest assured, I will return the favor as well if you would like. Thank you.
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Skye
Prospect
EUW In-Ring Announcer[/color]
The cake is NOT a lie!
Posts: 578
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Post by Skye on May 21, 2010 11:02:48 GMT -5
I liked this week's RP, Sabora is always an interesting read, whether he is back in Japan calming himself or messing with the Doctor. I look forward to seeing how he handles Titan. Should be a great match.
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Post by dragon on May 28, 2010 16:54:24 GMT -5
Holy shit, dude. That cliff scene was intense! Your description was off the charts this week! I can really feel that you are shooting for that world title in the rp you put out.
I loved the interview part as well. Having the reporter provoke Chris was classic. The ending though was the coup de' grace for me. Leaving the phone ringing at the end was a nice touch.
Good job.
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Post by dragon on Jun 27, 2010 13:37:57 GMT -5
Hey man,
I haven't given you any feedback for awhile. I just wanted to let you know that you have been excellent over the last few weeks. Very impressive stuff. Keep it up.
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Jun 27, 2010 14:39:23 GMT -5
Thanks X. I have felt lately like I have been enjoying my character. When I used to write Chris, I felt like I had to do the Randy Orton thing, or basically push something I didn't feel. I have slowly made this character my own, and I am loving my place in this fed.
I am glad it shows. Thank you.
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Jun 28, 2010 23:25:57 GMT -5
Alright, this week's is up early. That's different, ey? Anyhow, I wanted to dive deeper into Chris's history, and show how his intensity went as far back as his days in Japan. Plus, he hasn't spoken much for a few months, I figured a rare (Sort of) act of leadership would be cool. Hope you all liked it. 獣の腹 euw23.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=mnsrps&action=display&thread=4275&page=1
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Jul 3, 2010 2:18:18 GMT -5
Okay, I put out two this week. I had a bit of time on my hands and the extra day really came in handy. Enjoy!
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Post by dragon on Jul 4, 2010 0:37:02 GMT -5
I enjoyed them both equally. The Japanese text was a nice touch. I really enjoyed the interview in part two the most. You should do the first person stuff more often.
The start of your first rp was a little erratic. I had to reread it once to make sure I understood what was happening. It calmed down pretty quickly though and jumped right on track. That is pretty much the only thing I can point out that was a little off. You did good this week.
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Post by dragon on Jul 10, 2010 16:28:31 GMT -5
Okay,
This week, you really churned out a solid rp. I noticed a defined focus in the story and the match relevance was great. I enjoyed the 415 and Sabora part a lot, as it showed the progression in their friendship. The beginning was a lot more solid than last week's efforts as well. Very descriptive, very interesting.
You are on point this week.
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Post by dragon on Jul 18, 2010 14:49:41 GMT -5
I really enjoyed the fact that you took a chance and switched things up a bit this week. The rp had a very freaky, in your face feel. Sometimes, you have to go out of the box for the battle ahead. It worked out for you perfectly.
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Sept 18, 2010 21:58:35 GMT -5
new entry is up! Any thoughts?
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Sept 21, 2010 16:20:02 GMT -5
Great work this week. I enjoyed the description, and the flow. The flashback to Chris's wife passing away was nice for us newer folks. I thought it was written well too.
You write like a champ.... I guess that explains why you are one. I know a few other fed heads that have trolled these forums as I used to and read your stuff. Trust me, you are doing good.
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Sept 29, 2010 11:28:36 GMT -5
Thank you for the feedback, CJ. This concludes this series. For my upcoming series, I hope to really turn things up a notch.
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Oct 9, 2010 16:05:25 GMT -5
Alright, Beauty and The Beast is up. Hopefully it conveyed well. Sabora is starting to get strong mentally, and challenge his inner demon for control of his mind. This story arc will involve his new friend.. Skye.. as she runs a segment on his life. While this goes on, Sabora will come to some much needed realizations..
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Oct 27, 2010 23:50:57 GMT -5
Alright, I put both of my "betrayal" chapters up. I just want to say good luck to 415 though. You have earned this shot for a long time and I look forward to giving you that opportunity. I know how important this match is to you. I am honored to be a part of it.
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CJ
Prospect
Booze Head
Posts: 295
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Post by CJ on Oct 28, 2010 16:38:24 GMT -5
I will give it a go and review your 2 roleplays. Excuse me if I seem vague because like I have said in the past.. I suck at feedback.
Overall Story
Part 1: 9/10- I loved how you flashed back to your last match and told it from your side of things. Very well done and some good description there. The second part with Sabora approaching 415 was classic match build up shit. Good choice. I enjoyed this chapter the most in my opinion.
Part 2: 8/10- This one was more about imagery, and I enjoyed it for the most part. What I think I enjoyed most was how you described Sabora shadow boxing outside. You really know your shit in terms of martial arts and it's movements. The second half was the meat and potatoes though. Great conversations between Skye and Sabora.
Length and writing quality.
Both roleplays were just the right length in my opinion. The writing quality was excellent.
Final Thoughts.
Damn good series this week, champ. You really put out an effort and raised the bar. Having 2 roleplays that were nothing alike was a good decision. 415 has his work cut out for him.
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Skye
Prospect
EUW In-Ring Announcer[/color]
The cake is NOT a lie!
Posts: 578
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Post by Skye on Oct 30, 2010 12:08:33 GMT -5
It’s tough to write feedback for you, Chris, because it starts sounding the same. I always enjoy reading your work. I love the back story, and how detailed it’s been. The characters have a lot of life to them. I’d been wondering what happened to the martial arts school (funny, that was on my list of Skye’s interview questions for Sabora… I suppose I can consider it asked and answered now - lol – have you been peeking at my notes long distance? *looks round for a webcam behind her desk*) Great work once again – good luck this week.
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Nov 27, 2010 2:48:59 GMT -5
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
I am actually surprised that I got my match up on time. I wrote the majority of this piece on a red eye flight from Reno to San Francisco. So, I hope it fits the bill. There was a lot going on for me this week so it may not be my best work.
Then again, I feel that way every time I put something up.
Creep, this is a big honor for me. Thank you for the opportunity to work with you. I look at every opponent as a chapter in my character's life so to speak. Some chapters I value more than others as they define who Sabora truly is. You would be one of those chapters. Good luck to you.
*Updated: I decided to post a second chapter. I was originally not going to post it, but after looking upon it again, I figured why not.
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F1
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Got Girl Problems? F1!
Posts: 985
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Post by F1 on Nov 27, 2010 6:21:28 GMT -5
Both chapters were brilliant, fluent, and focused. The story continues to build and with that I am drawn in more and more. You're focus was solid on yourself, your match, and your issues at hand. You just threw down a stacked hand my friend and i thought it was exceptional. Keep up the good work.
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Sabora
Veteran
The Machine
Posts: 979
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Post by Sabora on Dec 4, 2010 17:58:47 GMT -5
Thank you for the feedback F-1. I am glad that you enjoyed it. I will return the feedback when the times comes, friend.
My next RP is up now. It is part 1 of a 2 part series entitled "Giving in to the madness." Sabora's split personality has begun to manifest itself with even more pressure. Finding himself under extreme stress due to his daughter's disappearance and TITAN breathing down his neck, Sabora decides it is best to finally "let go" and give in to his primal urges. Let me know what you think? Part two should be up later this week.
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Post by primetime on Dec 5, 2010 16:19:17 GMT -5
You really knocked it out of the park on that one, Chris. I have always loved your sense of storytelling, the way you weave in the match without notice helps a lot too. The "voice" in Chris's head offers a good guy - bad guy element that is hard to compete with. I also enjoyed how you focused not only on the match at hand but on your feud with Titan as well.
Lastly, the flashback to Chris's past was a nice touch. It will help the newer folks hop on to the Sabora train so to speak. Top notch stuff dude. Looking forward to the next one.
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