The Sabora Chronicles

[Sabora]

Alright, part 2 is up. I tried something different with this one. I wanted to go a more action orientated route, and feed off of Johnson's rp in the process. I also used a different format. (Gotta keep things fresh, right?) So, I do hope it translated well. My aim was to put out two completely different roleplays that still gelled with one another. Thanks in advance.

[Sabora]

Alright, I have placed 2 on the boards entitled "The Enemy of my Enemy.. is my friend." Should you wish to, I would be thankful for some feedback. Thanks.

[Sabora]

Hello, Friends.

This is just another feedback post. This time, from me. My newest series "All Good Things." is a farewell of sorts for a few things in the Sabora Chronicles. I wanted it to be impactful, for reasons that will be explained at a later time. Also, I wanted to pay respect to my partner and opponents equally, so I hope that all came across well enough.

Currently, Sabs is getting used to the return of his daughter once again. A lot of his inner depressions are slowly being let go thanks to the support that he is receiving. Of course, "The Voice" in his head is there, ready to torment Chris when given the opportunity. This time however, Chris is doing his best to resist. Again, this is the start of a storyline, so it sort of ends open ended. I hope that you all enjoy this one and what is to come.

Thank you,
Chris

[F1]

Extremely vivd and detailed. It was an excellent rp in all aspects ranging from charcter development to match relevance. You continue to put out stellar work Chris and thus is why you're still the champ. I look forward to seeing what comes next. Great job.

[Sabora]

Thank you, F-1. From an experienced writer such as yourself, that is a satisfying compliment.

[dragon]

Agreed. Great roleplay.

[The Cobra Viper]

I Completely agree with what is stated above.

It was a very emotional piece that flowed very well and provoked thought.

I can't wait to see what comes and if the champ can keep the good thing going.

[Sabora]

My piece of the puzzle has been added now. I tried to go a different direction than the norm and challenge myself. Instead of insulting my opponents, I wanted to come off as a true fighter would think, breaking down his opponents scientifically and from an athletic perspective.

I hope that I held up my end of the bargain, my team mates sure did. Thanks for any feedback in advance.

[irobin]

I liked it, different to your usual style but it certainly works. Also nice to read a roleplay around here that doesn't need to be monstrously long to get the point across. It's got all the important stuff, the match relevance, in terms of both your opponents and your partners, along with the impact of this storyline. Chris is stepping up to lead the EUW line in this war, whether or not he actually wants to, because he knows that someone has to and most of the guys are looking up to him to lead them.

It's good stuff, but then, I've come to expect nothing less from you, man. Absolutely no worries about "holding up your end" from where I'm sitting, despite being on the opposite team.

[The Cobra Viper]

short and sweet but powerful. I liked that you didn't demean anyone and, as all your Role plays, felt real.

This is Chris Sabora not The Machine. Peace is finally at the door step but evil has come to threaten it. The lager story combined with the match was done flawlessly. Congrats man. As always you knocked it out of the park

[F1]

Very crisp rp. The interview was very smooth. I enjoyed the way that Chris and Wendy went back and forth as well as your last paragraph of that interview. That was classic. Overall the rp was well written and you let it known that Chris is only human and seems to have his worst/best friend beckoning to be in control again. Great read, yet again.

[Sabora]

First of all, thank you to everyone who has left feedback in this thread. Without the input from my peers I could not have grown as a writer. You all are integral to the process.

I have just posted the finale to my series "All Good Things". As you may notice, it did not end like a finale of sorts. There is a reason for that. It will make more sense one day in the future. I want to thank Obi for pushing me this week to really put in a good effort for our match this weekend. I sort of felt like I let everyone down at the last show with my effort, so I really tried to amp things up.

This week, we see the story from both of Sabora's alter egos so to speak. I hope that conveyed well. Okay, I will shut up now. If you all want to leave me some more feedback, again I would be in your debt.

-Chris.

[F1]

Excellently written rp and a picture perfect last chapter leading up to the match of all matches. You could really feel Chris regaining the intensity that he once held when "The Machine" was in control. Now it's evident that he's pulling out all the stops and giving it his all, throwing it all on the line to see what he's truely made of.

Very well written piece. You did great on including past events, match history and the evergrowing storyline that is the EUW/Empire battle and I see nothing to critique other than the fact that I definitely like the Black/White aspect of the rp, awesome! This should be one hell of a match and I wish you both the best of luck. Seems like it's do or die for both of you.

[irobin]

For what it's worth, I'll start by saying that you put in a fine showing last time around and didn't let anyone down. Well, I was on the winning side so I may feel biased, but I think you do yourself a disservice by putting your last effort down as not being good enough.

Anyway, it's a good roleplay. Worthy of a champion. It shows that the loss has rocked Sabora's world, after all, he's been winning everything for a year now, this sort of feeling must be very foreign to him. Seems like the Champion is left feeling very human and very vulnerable now, his confidence has left him and he's unsure that he's capable of beating TITAN now. This desperation has pushed him into a dark place and that makes things all the more interesting. This isn't Chris Sabora: Family Man, this is Chris Sabora: The Machine and he's ready to prove himself once more.

I must say, I really liked the whole dichotomy of "White" and "Black" to represent the two distinct parts of Sabora's psyche. It's an interesting take and I like it as a style.

[Sabora]

Okay, I finally decided on the roleplay I will post. After going through countless efforts, this seemed like the winner. I wanted to go back to how I wrote Sabora in my early days, when there was like a moral to the story and such. You know, make it fun. Anyway, if you enjoyed it let me know? Hopefully the rust did not show too bad.

[CJ]

Dialogue: 8
Description: 8
Content: 9
Length: 7
Match Relevance: 10
Overall Thoughts: 8/10

Feedback: Hey Chris. Good to see that you have returned. Let's get right to it. I wanted to leave you feedback and place higher standards upon you based on your history in this fed. You are one of the all time best that ever came through here and should be judged as so. The thing is, I realize that you were gone for some time and that really should be taken into consideration. So, I will do that.

For a person who has been gone, your roleplay was amazing. I loved the intensity and the way you progressed the story. I hardly saw any ring rust from a "normal" competitor at all. Had you not been gone, I would say though that this was not one of your best. You knew this though. That being said, you came out of "retirement" firing on all cylenders and I found myself being wrapped up into your RP. I expected to read a page of "I AM BACK AND WANT MY TITLE BACK CUZ IT IS MINE!" but I thankfully did not. You were very smart about how you laid it all out and I enjoyed how you made this match seem like it was more than just a title match. This was revenge on all levels.. and the point came across well.

I want to say again, I did not feel that this was a excellent as you have been in the past. It was a tad bit rough in some parts and often focused too short on subjects that could have really been expanded upon. Especially with this being a PPV. Perhaps you could even have stretched it out into two roleplays? Either way though, it was a great read...better than anything I could do anyway. Welcome back.