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Post by Nick Pickle$ on Aug 16, 2011 15:15:00 GMT -5
Hello Peeps Been quite a good while since i've rp'ed, especially with this character. Could feel the rust but had a chance to be part of this event by invitation and accepted without question. Pretty much did this one on a whim for fun, because I don't expect nor would want to win...just a good showing haha. So would appreciate any kind of feedback on this piece, thoughts or whatever. Def had fun writing it. www.euw23.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=rumble&action=display&thread=6550Thanks |
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Post by jackbull on Aug 16, 2011 22:00:20 GMT -5
My thoughts: -- You spelt Brett Cross's name wrong, -- You miss spelt the name of the PPV, even though Pickles was looking right at it, -- You didn't list Jack Bull as one of the top performers in the company  -- It was a little short. I know there is a word restriction, but even so it felt very empty and not like a PPV RP, -- The fact that your character didn't want to be in it initially kind of bugged me. It felt like a snub of the EUW, though I don't suppose it was meant that way. But even when your character warmed to the idea he still seemed a little less than completely enthusiastic about it. |
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Post by Nick Pickle$ on Aug 16, 2011 22:22:52 GMT -5
Well, Nick being the rich snobb....is kind of a weasel lol. But it was the only idea I could come up with that would explain Nick's sudden appearence in EUW. His buffoon support staff screwing up and getting him in something in a place he is not familiar with was the joke. And no, def not meant to have been a slight to EUW....just more so the fact Nick knows little about the place even though he reconigzed it as a top global promotion he's yet to "invade". But no, def wasn't suppose to be a slight.....just his arrogant pompus way of shrugging things off, playing the outsider role. Now I feel bad if that's the way it came across...  And crap, didn't know I forgot the one T in Brett. And the PPV name, I had to fix that LOL. Like I said, I typed this in 20mins or so. I might had put a ton more effort if I was actually part of the fed and had a shot to win....but that's not why I got in. I did it for the fun and to be part of event, help out. But I highly appreciate the feedback Jack (sorry about the non mention...I got you next time). Hopefully maybe ill get another chance to rp some more in the future here and do a better job. But cool beans for taking the time to reply my friend. |
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Post by jackbull on Aug 16, 2011 23:30:24 GMT -5
No worries dude. For a 20 minute job it's not bad, but it does show. I can appreciate your angle though, of being an outsider etc just dropping by. Maybe you should stick about more permanently? We need a rich bitch buy beer for the locker room!
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Mr. T
Prospect
Haters gonna hate
Posts: 386
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Post by Mr. T on Aug 17, 2011 13:42:06 GMT -5
Don't we have Shawn "don't call me JBL" Ashen for tht? >_>
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Post by Nick Pickle$ on Aug 17, 2011 17:47:18 GMT -5
No worries dude. For a 20 minute job it's not bad, but it does show. I can appreciate your angle though, of being an outsider etc just dropping by. Maybe you should stick about more permanently? We need a rich bitch buy beer for the locker room! Yeah i've thought about it, just not sure what path ill take (like new character or something). This is just me legendary character, have used him for almost 9 years...not sure if I use him here if I decided to be full time |
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Post by The Sky King on Aug 23, 2011 9:14:37 GMT -5
It did feel like a rush job, but in no ways was it generally a bad RP. - I felt it was unpolished. Typos and the occasional grammatical error. Nothing really too serious.
- I didn't feel it was too short, I felt it was spot on for the Rumble. You certainly included enough character development, but I felt that it outweighed the match relevance which creeped in at the end of the RP and didn't really dominate the RP as it should have.
- I understand that the character would look down on EUW, he came across as that kind of character during the RP, so I felt that the introducing of the character (Whom is probably unfamiliar to most people here in the EUW-Asylum) effectively in the RP was a good job.
- It felt like the Rumble came second-fiddle in the RP. I don't know whether or not this was a quirk of the character for looking down on the Asylum or whether or not you simply didn't have the team. I felt that if you focused more on the Rumble, you may have had a chance of winning..However, since you said you weren't really aiming to win it, this part of the feedback is pretty much void.
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