Post by The Sky King on Jul 6, 2011 6:21:41 GMT -5
Thoroughly enjoyed this piece. A brilliant way to introduce the character. Very few people, when they join, have their character as a guy who just started out at bingo halls, or have their character as a complete novice when it comes to wrestling, so seeing you manage to both execute it and execute it well was interesting to see. The description was brilliant, and the way in how Hughes simply knocked the crap out of Thompson with a clothesline definitely sets up the character as a strong fighter and a badass. The initial introduction to Hughes was also well executed: He's nothing fancy, doesn't have a surreal gimmick, just a down-to-earth fighter whose stuck in motel rooms while taking any job he can. It doesn't sound much, but considering some of the gimmicks we have here, it's actually quite an original character, which is always interesting to see.
Didn't really notice anything wrong with it. There's the occasional grammatical mistake and typo, but in all honesty those rarely ever matter when it comes down to nitty-gritty. As a developmental piece? It was pretty much a great start.
Good job, it was a nice read!
Didn't really notice anything wrong with it. There's the occasional grammatical mistake and typo, but in all honesty those rarely ever matter when it comes down to nitty-gritty. As a developmental piece? It was pretty much a great start.
Good job, it was a nice read!
