Two Heroes, One Cell - Dante Holly

[James]

I usually don't ask for feedback. I think if you don't give it then you shouldn't expect others too. With my position as staff I've always felt that it could make me appear biased in a sense if I found fault in someones work that would appear bad for the fed. With my time running short over the next few months however, I wanted a chance to at least let people know what I've thought so far. In that respect, I am hoping people will let me know what they thought of my works for this week. I found it incredibly hard to reconcile the seriousness this match deserves with the comedy that is expected from Dante Holly.

I also would like to use this thread to apologize to Obi for putting two up in that proximity to each other. I had my 2nd initially written as my only role play, but decided to do a second and so it had to wait in order to keep the chronology some what on pace.

[Obi]

No apology needed, old friend. I enjoyed them both. You done good.

[CJ]

I thought your writing was on point. I enjoyed the dialog for the most part and didn't see any parts where things began to lag. It was cool finally getting to see Dante in all of his costumed glory. If I had to nitpick it, I would say that the two roleplays did not mix well. When I read a Dante Holly roleplay I wanted to do just that.. read about Dante Holly. Alot of your first roleplay was focused on other folks. (Mark Rivera.) The second part was fine. This is just a personal preference though. Lastly, the superhero comedy seemed forced a bit.


Dude, I hate not giving out perfect feedback. If this upsets you, let me make it up to you. Let's go out for a beer. On me! I promise!