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Post by mrstansell on Feb 27, 2011 21:15:27 GMT -5
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Post by Mr. C on Feb 28, 2011 6:35:34 GMT -5
I like the style of the RP, the script approach you had begun to toy with before you left the last time. It's subtle, but gives things a Stephensy feel that's all your own. My only complaint though is by bolding name and text, it sometimes was rough for me to read because everything came out in my brain as "Man Hello" "Other Man Hello" "Man What's Up?" "Other Man Not Much." This could be my own stupidity, so if no one else is bothered carry on, but I would like a subtle change of perhaps a different text for speech, just to distinguish better. As for the actual writing itself though, very fun, dialogue is a strong suit for you that makes things believable and entertaining. It's why the script format works for you, and I also really enjoyed hearing where he was since last we knew and how he got to where he is today, small thinks like that which keep continuity make me happy. Great prologue, old friend.
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Post by mrstansell on Feb 28, 2011 7:37:44 GMT -5
I actually thought the same thing about the bold when I was doing the final coding but finally decided that I didn't want the dialogue the same as the descriptions so I just said screw it and went ahead...of course hearing your example I can't help and have no choice other than to change it. Switched to a bold and italicized combo and going to see how that works for a little bit. Funny thing is I'd completely forgotten how I used to code these things. While it could be easily solved by splashing a little color in there for some reason I've never been a real fan of color.
Thanks very much on the dialogue compliment. I've always received high marks on my dialogue throughout all the scripts I've ever done, school related and other. Funny thing is I've never really had to put too much thought into the dialogue and never understood how lucky I am for that. Apparently creating a believable, and entertaining, conversation is a bit of a challenge for some people.
As for bridging the gap between Christian's departure and his return was a bit of fun as well. I didn't want to give a complete play by play of what's happened over the last few months but did want to give hints at what may have happened(possibly deserted his Hollywood lifestyle, joined a nudist colony before getting lost on a field trip to Joshua Tree where he may or may not have met a naked Indian...it's hard to tell because he'd also just ate a ton of peyote. Eventually the Indian pointed him North where Christian eventually found himself standing naked in front of the Starshine Motel. He worked as part of the cleaning crew for a few weeks until he could afford a trip back to the nudist colony, which had since been closed down and turned into a very questionable summer camp for the blind, to retrieve his Audi A4. Once faced with the decision of where to go now that he had no home, Christian chose to drive back to the Starshine Motel and live out the rest of his days as a motel hermit...until that fateful day Rivera showed up...of course all this is speculation and honestly what truly happened in those crazy months Christian was gone is up to the reader and their own imagination).
I do have to give Jaden major credit for setting me up with an amazing motivation to join up with Empire. When he told me what role I would be returning as I was ecstatic. I remember telling him that "Dude, I'd been happy if I just showed up backstage at a show, someone turns to me and asks where the hell I've been and I tell them I just went to get a sandwich or something."
My only regret, even though I did it on purpose, about this prologue is that I didn't show Christian's true personality because it's definitely apparent that there's a pretty good number of people that have absolutely no clue who the hell I am (which is in no way a bad thing) but I really wanted to show that Christian was a former shell of the man he used to be and truly the only time that "Mr. L.A." is present is in that final line. I guess all the newer guys will just have to wait for the first official RP to get a full dose of Captain Cali.
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Post by Mr. C on Feb 28, 2011 11:12:12 GMT -5
THAT is the name I started. Not Mr. LA. Good memory!
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