My first real RP here

[Mr. T]

I'm all for constructive criticism. Tell me how I'm doing!

Baptism of Fire:
www.euw23.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=rpsnv&thread=5008

Thanks

[Mr. C]

hi

Overall I liked the RP, it's very much a returning style to the EUW. Many of us have gotten away from the "promo" style and have worked to more of a "novel" style, myself included. But by writing this way, you immediately stand out. It's quick, it's easy to read, and it's straight to the point meaning it's instantly more fun to read. Because, let's face it, if you don't care for the story being told in the "novel" style RPs, they are just long, pointless RPs. Yours certainly was not.

The whole style is simplistic and enjoyable. The narration is informal, and it works. The character is incredibly likable. The dialogue is quick and real, and I thought the winning over of the camera man was done very well, a great way to show Danny Tenfold's charisma.

As for areas for improvement, I don't want to tell you to necessarily add anything, because the style is simple and fun to read and I don't want to change that. And the more I think about it, I don't want you to change anything. I just want to read more. I want to know why Danny is who he is, I want to know where he came from. All in all, I guess I just want to say it was a "promo" style RP performed to excellence. Good work!

[The Cobra Viper]

I Agree with Cross. Very well done. I like how your style of writing allows most internal dialog to be conversation due to the private setting. The color coding was great and the storyline believable. While Reading it I could picture it in my head which is always a good thing. Not much i can say seeing as Cross covered most of my thoughts.

[Mr. T]

Thanks guys. At least I know I'm doing something right!

[The Sky King]

I concur. It was simple, but it was great. A lot of times, the promo-style RP tends to look very amateur and pretty cringeworthy, but this one was pretty professional. It was a good introduction to the character, and wasn't a large chunky RP. The dialogue flowed well, you got Tenfolds charisma and confidence built into his character and it was a very good promo.

Nothing else much to say, other than good job.

[F1]

I liked the intensity you brought in your rp and the focus on your match as well as the nights events was good. I like how you portray your character and the style you bring, so I look forward to seeing more from you and how you build on this and if you evolve. You've got potential.