Post by Commissioner Warrior™ on Sept 22, 2010 10:06:13 GMT -5
There it was, The Red House. That's no joke, that's the formal title for the cylindrical home of the esteemed President of the Republic of Texas. Tall, bright red, and so far as I can tell modeled after a fire extinguisher. A part of me considers this over the line in insanity, but it is Octane, and it does make sense for him I suppose. So to the front door we went, which was of course bright red and had a large knocker on the front of it. Rather than your traditional one though, this was instead a huge sock full of nickels, attached to the door. I latched onto the awkward doorbell and utilized it, sending the sound of the knocking resonating through the area and likely throughout the inside of the building.
Just then, a tiny door opened up within the larger door. A tiny man stuck his head out at myself and Kendra. Contrary to what you would expect though, this tiny window was quite low to the ground and both of us had to back up a bit and look down to see him. “What do you want?”. I looked at the tiny man, whom was wearing a large red hat, before telling him. “I want to meet the President.”. The tiny man looks ruffled, quickly replying “Not nobody sees the President. Not nobody not nohow.” Kendra obviously was tired of jumping through hoops about things, and immediately grabbed the man by the collar.
Holding him tight, she exclaimed “Look you little midget. My dad used to be the head of the wrestling company Hi Octane was a part of, and knows him very well. We've been through hell and back on the way here. Now if you don't open the door, I'm going to learn what it's like to torture a little man.” The look on the guy's face was priceless. Such fear not even I had ever been able to instill. I suppose there's just something about a thirteen year old girl grabbing you by the throat and threatening to torture you that is scary. Personally, I don't see it.
He took a moment to regain control over his breathing following Kendra releasing him, before replying. “Well...that's a secretary of a different ethnicity. Come on in.” The door swung open, but I couldn't help to wonder who came up with a phrase like 'secretary of a different ethnicity'. After a very short moment of wondering that though, I realized that it would be impossible for anyone other than Octane himself to come up with something as ridiculous as that. So in we stepped into this large red iron door, entering a surprisingly official looking building.
On the inside, once having moved past the fact that the building looks like a fire extinguisher, things were very well organized. As well, everyone seemed plenty busy working to keep the control going just fine and well. There were people in meetings, people bolting to make copies, people taking important phone calls, everything you could think of. The small man who had let us in had since disappeared, but we were able to recognize a front desk. Not surprisingly, sitting at this front desk was a secretary. Upon further analysis of her features and a curious question, I came to find out she was, as she said, a 'BMW'. One-third black, one-third Mexican, one-third white. That's certainly a secretary of a different ethnicity.
“I am here to see Hi Octane.” She glanced up at me following this question, glaring into my eyes as if I had made some fatal error. After an odd and sudden staredown, I asked again, but phrased things thinking that it might relate to what issue she may have. “I am here to see President Octane.” Upon this correction, she snapped back into a happy expression and in a voice reminiscent of Fran Fine, I shit you not, said “Right this way you two. President Octane would love to see you.” It was odd, but I just shrugged it off. It's not as much more ridiculousness, but merely someone with an odd quirk about them.
We traveled up a center building spiral staircase, getting halfway up and finding ourselves then at an elevator. “Just step right in, press the big red button, and it'll take you right up to the President. Have a wonderful day honey.” With these words, she turned and headed back down the staircase as Kendra and I stepped into the elevator. And just as she had mentioned, there was indeed a big red button, probably one foot in diameter, no doubt the doing of Octane himself. I turned to Kendra, exclaiming “You get to push the big red button.” She giggled and backed up, deciding to jump and headbutt it.
The elevator began to shake, before skyrocketing upwards for a few seconds and slamming to a halt. The abruptness of the halt caused both of us to lift up into the air for just a moment. Just enough to very much get our attention. The door to the elevator opened and through it was quite an interesting sight. The exactly semi-circular office was made with painted glass, so that you can see outside clearly from inside, but only see the paint on the outside. As well, the floor of the room was solid brick. Solid, hand-laid, red brick. Across the room was a red desk, made of some expensive material I couldn't immediately identify. Behind it, rotated towards the window, was a red leather office chair.
Many random items were placed around the room, from a sock full of nickels, to a fire extinguisher, to replica EUW Tag Team Championships, and many other items. The true oddity though, was around a bit, generally to the left of the desk. Also rotated away, facing the window, was what appeared to be an ornate and extravagant throne...that rotates. “I had a feeling you'd come for me.” I must admit this surprised me, I didn't expect Octane to have realized I was coming. “Really?”, I said. The chair and throne whipped around simultaneously and the now obviously shocked President exclaimed “Warrior? Kendra?! What are you two doing here?”
“Good to see you too buddy.” Okay, perhaps I gave him too much credit there. He wasn't being well thought out or intelligible, but merely weird. “I thought you knew I was coming, by what you said.” He laughed, saying “Oh, that? I say that every time anyone comes into my office. It'll make the moment when someone does come for me that much sweeter. Oh, pardon my manners. Ninja, reveal.” Just then, from directly to the right of the desk, a ninja no less drops from the ceiling and stands at attention. “This is my assistant, Ninja.” Really? It's that ridiculous? Okay, I guess this one kinda make sense...in some twisted weird Hi Octane way.
Something for which I had been too busy reacting to really notice, was Princess Firepower, excuse me, Queen Firepower, sitting on the throne wearing possibly the most ornate and expensive looking skimpy dress ever made. It literally looked like luxury lingerie in the form of a dress. “Now, what brings you to my humble foghorn of a capital building.” Even for Octane, that seemed off, and I had to ask. “What do you mean foghorn?” He looked a little thrown off, responding “Didn't you notice? I had the building modeled after an old-fashioned foghorn. A bright red one to be exact.” Then it hit me. Of course, a fire extinguisher would make too much sense.
I then firmly decided that this crossed the line of ridiculousness. A line which I promised to react to. So, just as I had promised, I turned to Ninja and punched him square in the face as hard as I could. The pitiful excuse for a ninja hit the ground, completely unconscious. Octane gasped, suddenly asking “Where did that come from?” I simply replied with exactly why I did it. “I promised myself that if things got too ridiculous, I was going to have to just punch a random guy square in the face.” He nodded at this, acknowledging whatever insane logic I had just used as sound. He then pressed a large red button on his desk, one of several red buttons of varying sizes.
Just then, two large chairs came fell from the ceiling, landing square in front of his desk. “Have a seat you two, we have plenty to talk about.” We stepped forward, situating ourselves in front of the desk. The throne then seemed to just float in the direction of the table and Queen Firepower stopped it so that things were closer to all of us being across from each other. We then sat, ready to begin what would likely be an extremely interesting conversation, in a semi-circular office that contained a revolving and mobile throne, falling chairs, and an unconscious ninja, in a building modeled as a giant foghorn. Seriously.
Just then, a tiny door opened up within the larger door. A tiny man stuck his head out at myself and Kendra. Contrary to what you would expect though, this tiny window was quite low to the ground and both of us had to back up a bit and look down to see him. “What do you want?”. I looked at the tiny man, whom was wearing a large red hat, before telling him. “I want to meet the President.”. The tiny man looks ruffled, quickly replying “Not nobody sees the President. Not nobody not nohow.” Kendra obviously was tired of jumping through hoops about things, and immediately grabbed the man by the collar.
Holding him tight, she exclaimed “Look you little midget. My dad used to be the head of the wrestling company Hi Octane was a part of, and knows him very well. We've been through hell and back on the way here. Now if you don't open the door, I'm going to learn what it's like to torture a little man.” The look on the guy's face was priceless. Such fear not even I had ever been able to instill. I suppose there's just something about a thirteen year old girl grabbing you by the throat and threatening to torture you that is scary. Personally, I don't see it.
He took a moment to regain control over his breathing following Kendra releasing him, before replying. “Well...that's a secretary of a different ethnicity. Come on in.” The door swung open, but I couldn't help to wonder who came up with a phrase like 'secretary of a different ethnicity'. After a very short moment of wondering that though, I realized that it would be impossible for anyone other than Octane himself to come up with something as ridiculous as that. So in we stepped into this large red iron door, entering a surprisingly official looking building.
On the inside, once having moved past the fact that the building looks like a fire extinguisher, things were very well organized. As well, everyone seemed plenty busy working to keep the control going just fine and well. There were people in meetings, people bolting to make copies, people taking important phone calls, everything you could think of. The small man who had let us in had since disappeared, but we were able to recognize a front desk. Not surprisingly, sitting at this front desk was a secretary. Upon further analysis of her features and a curious question, I came to find out she was, as she said, a 'BMW'. One-third black, one-third Mexican, one-third white. That's certainly a secretary of a different ethnicity.
“I am here to see Hi Octane.” She glanced up at me following this question, glaring into my eyes as if I had made some fatal error. After an odd and sudden staredown, I asked again, but phrased things thinking that it might relate to what issue she may have. “I am here to see President Octane.” Upon this correction, she snapped back into a happy expression and in a voice reminiscent of Fran Fine, I shit you not, said “Right this way you two. President Octane would love to see you.” It was odd, but I just shrugged it off. It's not as much more ridiculousness, but merely someone with an odd quirk about them.
We traveled up a center building spiral staircase, getting halfway up and finding ourselves then at an elevator. “Just step right in, press the big red button, and it'll take you right up to the President. Have a wonderful day honey.” With these words, she turned and headed back down the staircase as Kendra and I stepped into the elevator. And just as she had mentioned, there was indeed a big red button, probably one foot in diameter, no doubt the doing of Octane himself. I turned to Kendra, exclaiming “You get to push the big red button.” She giggled and backed up, deciding to jump and headbutt it.
The elevator began to shake, before skyrocketing upwards for a few seconds and slamming to a halt. The abruptness of the halt caused both of us to lift up into the air for just a moment. Just enough to very much get our attention. The door to the elevator opened and through it was quite an interesting sight. The exactly semi-circular office was made with painted glass, so that you can see outside clearly from inside, but only see the paint on the outside. As well, the floor of the room was solid brick. Solid, hand-laid, red brick. Across the room was a red desk, made of some expensive material I couldn't immediately identify. Behind it, rotated towards the window, was a red leather office chair.
Many random items were placed around the room, from a sock full of nickels, to a fire extinguisher, to replica EUW Tag Team Championships, and many other items. The true oddity though, was around a bit, generally to the left of the desk. Also rotated away, facing the window, was what appeared to be an ornate and extravagant throne...that rotates. “I had a feeling you'd come for me.” I must admit this surprised me, I didn't expect Octane to have realized I was coming. “Really?”, I said. The chair and throne whipped around simultaneously and the now obviously shocked President exclaimed “Warrior? Kendra?! What are you two doing here?”
“Good to see you too buddy.” Okay, perhaps I gave him too much credit there. He wasn't being well thought out or intelligible, but merely weird. “I thought you knew I was coming, by what you said.” He laughed, saying “Oh, that? I say that every time anyone comes into my office. It'll make the moment when someone does come for me that much sweeter. Oh, pardon my manners. Ninja, reveal.” Just then, from directly to the right of the desk, a ninja no less drops from the ceiling and stands at attention. “This is my assistant, Ninja.” Really? It's that ridiculous? Okay, I guess this one kinda make sense...in some twisted weird Hi Octane way.
Something for which I had been too busy reacting to really notice, was Princess Firepower, excuse me, Queen Firepower, sitting on the throne wearing possibly the most ornate and expensive looking skimpy dress ever made. It literally looked like luxury lingerie in the form of a dress. “Now, what brings you to my humble foghorn of a capital building.” Even for Octane, that seemed off, and I had to ask. “What do you mean foghorn?” He looked a little thrown off, responding “Didn't you notice? I had the building modeled after an old-fashioned foghorn. A bright red one to be exact.” Then it hit me. Of course, a fire extinguisher would make too much sense.
I then firmly decided that this crossed the line of ridiculousness. A line which I promised to react to. So, just as I had promised, I turned to Ninja and punched him square in the face as hard as I could. The pitiful excuse for a ninja hit the ground, completely unconscious. Octane gasped, suddenly asking “Where did that come from?” I simply replied with exactly why I did it. “I promised myself that if things got too ridiculous, I was going to have to just punch a random guy square in the face.” He nodded at this, acknowledging whatever insane logic I had just used as sound. He then pressed a large red button on his desk, one of several red buttons of varying sizes.
Just then, two large chairs came fell from the ceiling, landing square in front of his desk. “Have a seat you two, we have plenty to talk about.” We stepped forward, situating ourselves in front of the desk. The throne then seemed to just float in the direction of the table and Queen Firepower stopped it so that things were closer to all of us being across from each other. We then sat, ready to begin what would likely be an extremely interesting conversation, in a semi-circular office that contained a revolving and mobile throne, falling chairs, and an unconscious ninja, in a building modeled as a giant foghorn. Seriously.
