Post by JDV on Sept 4, 2009 22:44:10 GMT -5
FUBAR, Part I: Lazy Sunday
Santa Monica, Los Angeles California, August 30, 2009
It’s a typical hot, dry day on the Santa Monica beach, the camera pans towards Tanner Vincent’s new house which once belong to his younger brother. It still has the same white chipped walls, messy shingles and long grass with dry/light brown patches all over the place. Behind the house, James Vincent’s black 75 Chevy nova sits outside the small rusty brown garage in the back yard, James Vincent paces around the car slightly irritated and wearing a white tank top, dark ripped blue jeans, polished leather biker boots and a Manny Ramirez Los Angeles Dodgers home jersey un-buttoned. He bangs on the top of the hood.
“So what’s the fucking problem?”
A shirtless Tanner Vincent reveals himself from under the hood wearing blue jeans with his toned skin covered in dirt and oil.
**Concerned** “I have no clue James, this is mind boggling. It is an old vehicle.”
“That’s horse shit Tanner, that’s a brand new engine block. It shouldn’t be making that clinking sound.”
**Wiping off his hands** “It could be anything brother, loose screw, loose parts, hell there could be a fucking pebble in there. Taking apart the entire engine piece by piece is the only solution I see at the moment.”
“Well that’s fucking great; this day just keeps getting better. I had to lie my way through three fucking police checkpoints to get here, this H1N1 shit is getting ridiculous."
“I’ve been watching the news and that shit looks serious, from what I’ve heard San Francisco is being overrun by riots.”
“This is fucking California Tanner, since the 60’s there’s been riots everywhere. I bet this new shit started because someone got shot, they decided to stick the H1N1 story as a cover-up. **two UH-1 Iroquois fly over** AND I’M GETTING FUCKING SICK OF THESE GODDAMNED HELICOPTERS FLYING OVER, IT’S A FUCKING FLU FOR FUCK SAKES!!!”
**Changing the subject** “You want a beer Jimmy?”
**Calmed down** “Brilliant idea Tanner, we can drink away our sorrows.”
Tanner runs into the house while I watch fleets of helicopters fly over the house. It all started when a few people who were already “fucked up” died then all of a sudden the H1N1 virus became the talk of the world, the stories became even more surreal and the threats of global pandemic became louder, first it was a few police patrols, now military personnel were flooding into California since the San Francisco crisis. Everywhere I went street side prophets and local drunks were screaming “THE END IS NIGH”, I can’t help but think two things, either the American Government has really mind-fucked us, or the end is really near.
Suddenly a wall of dust and gravel gets blown in my face; I look up only to see a dark green helicopter hovering above the house. A loud intercom rings throughout the neighborhood “ATTENTION, PLEASE REMAIN IN YOUR HOMES; SANTA MONICA IS OFFICIALLY UNDER A STATE OF EMERGENCY”. I ignore the rest as I run around the house and into the front yard where the Helicopter touches down in the middle of the road; shit is really starting to get exciting.
A small squad of National Guard soldiers carrying M16’s and M4 Carbines and wearing dark green camouflage uniforms hop off the helicopter. Four soldiers head in a different direction while another four head toward James Vincent who is standing in awe in the front yard, while the helicopter quickly takes off. James waves his arms and starts yelling at the soldiers but he is interrupted quickly by the large bulky squad leader who approaches James while the other three men cautiously hold their rifles in the background. The sound of multiple helicopters fills the neighborhood.
**Stern** “CIVILIAN!!! Get inside the house IMMEDIATELY!!!”
**Confused** “WHAT’S GOING ON?”
“I WON’T ASK AGAIN!!! Get inside the house IMMEDIATELY, Santa Monica is in a state of emergency.”
“The only state of emergency that I see here is a bunch of wannabe soldiers flexing their fucking muscles.”
**Irritated, points his rifle at James** “LAST ORDER, GET INSIDE YOUR HOUSE IMMEDIATELY OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED.”
The other soldiers start to show their lack of experience pointing their rifles at James nervous and anxiously and looking at each other in confusion. James still doesn’t back away and moves closer to the old squad leader.
“FOR WHAT? Utilizing my rights as an American fucking citizen while a Sgt. Hartman wannabe screams in my face.” **Shoves the soldier**
The squad leader smacks James in the gut with his modified M4 Carbine sending James on his knees, then he knees James in the nose sending him hard on his back while small streams of blood trickle down his nose. The squad leader is starting to show signs of a nervous breakdown and he draws out his black M9 Beretta and points it at James who covers his nose. The rest of the soldiers are shocked at their superior officer’s actions.
**Cocks his gun** “Now I won’t ask again, GET INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE…OR I’LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT. I can call it…self defense!!!”
So this is how the story ends, killed by a traumatized soldier, not even a real soldier too, a fucking National Guard serviceman, the branch that the kids with rich political connections join so they didn’t have to get their feet dirty in Vietnam and now Iraq. I try to come up with something witty before my demise but at the last second a silver BMW speeds across the front yard like a bat out of hell missing me by an inch and punting the squad leader who’s head bounces off the glass while his body twists and twirls in midair like a gymnast before planting head first into the lawn. Although he’s dead, his left eye gives me the thousand yard stare while blood gushes down his face.
James gets up and stares at the silver BMW, with it’s rear sticking out of the house next door, pillars of smoke emerge from the wreckage while an older man in his 50’s with a wife beater and a large beer belly looks at the car in fear from inside the house. The three remaining soldiers begin to panic, now that their squad leader has been killed before their eyes. One of the younger soldiers takes command and signals the other two to check on the vehicle while he runs toward the dead soldier and checks his pulse ignoring James who looks around the neighborhood as the sound of small explosions and bursts of fire erupt and pillars of smoke pop up from different sides of the neighborhood. More helicopters fly over the neighborhood and toward the emerging pillars of smoke and fire.
Screams of terror from a man comes from the wreckage while two soldiers check on them. The soldier next to James stops checking his superiors pulse and he grabs a small phone set.
**Shaky voice** “Shield to command, Sgt. Phelps has been KIA’d. I repeat KIA over…” **Mumbling comes from the radio “Understood, Shield out!!! **Looks at James with sympathy** Look, shit is getting heavy down here, the riots have hit Los Angeles, now please…stay inside your house until further notice.” **Gives James a stern look before heading toward the wreckage**
**Confused** “But Why? What’s causing these riots?”
The soldier ignores James as he runs toward the rubble, James stands in the background watching the crash.
But things took a horrifying turn, I watched the smashed backseat window as spurts of blood started to pile up on the back window, something was rolling around in the back seat while the driver continued to scream for help in agony, the two grunts pulled the man out of the vehicle, his white dress shirt was covered in blood and he continued screaming at the soldiers to help his wife. One of the soldiers opened the passenger door, then suddenly a child wearing a blue t shirt and black shorts leaped out of the vehicle toward the soldier, I thought he was glad to be out of the car, but that all went down the tubes when the boy lunged at the soldiers biting him in the neck.
Suddenly he started to shoot his rifle in panic hitting another soldier several times and send a couple of bullets whizzing right past me with a whoosh sound. I watched “fearless leader” unload his M16 on his fellow soldier putting multiple bullets into the child and the soldier. Suddenly the Husband gets back on his feet like The Undertaker, and then a younger girl with curly blonde hair and a light purple dress comes out of the vehicle. I look on as the poor Private goes down in the blaze of glory while the husband and daughter begin to snack on him. Cannibals, we’ve got cannibals in our yard…then I started to shit bricks…not literally.
As I gaze into the pale faces of the cannibals I have an epiphany…the flu…the fucking flu!!! I have no time to investigate further as daddy, his little girl and now the brown haired wife slowly creep toward me, and shit is starting to turn into Thriller. I grab the Sgt’s rifle and Beretta while the Addams Family makes their move; their abnormally pale skin reminds me of some cheap sleazy B movie I watched the night before. I cock the assault rifle, my experiences with rifles is limited at best…it’s times like these I wish my old man took me out hunting instead of Tanner. I aim the rifle at the father and I pull the trigger unleashing a surprising burst of fire completely missing the father but hitting his broad on the arm who doesn’t flinch. I look at the small switch on the side of the rifle “semi”, “full”, and “burst”. I flick the switch to full auto…I feel like a kid in the candy store all of a sudden.
More relaxed, James pulls back on the trigger unleashing a wall of bullets at the trio, one bullet goes right through the head of the father who falls down instantly while the wife’s chest is turned into Swiss cheese…she falls over from the barrage. The small daughter evades the gun fire and makes her way toward James with her mouth and dress covered in blood. The gun starts to click signaling that it is empty…James presses the trigger in frustration then he shrugs and smacks the pale child in the face with the stock of the rifle knocking her down but not out. James is bewildered.
**Hysterical** “Damn, The Asylum could use someone like you.”
The girl gets back on her feet slowly but it doesn’t last for long…a black Dodge Ram Van comes crashing out of the worn down wood garage door speeding toward James and the girl, the van swerves away from James running over the kid causing blood and guts to explode on the front of the vehicle. The van does a 360 nearly flipping over in the process and the tinted passenger door opens with Tanner sitting in the front seat.
**Scared** “Were getting the fuck out of here!!!”
James looks around the neighborhood one last time before getting in the van. Tanner slams on the gas and goes careening down the neighborhood.
**Angry** “PERFECT FUCKING TIMING BRO!!!”
“I saw the whole thing unfold from inside, I was packing up the van incase you didn’t notice.”
In the back seat sits a makeshift bed, pile of clean and dirty clothes and stacks of canned food and a large blue Coleman cooler. Sitting on the bed is a .22 hunting rifle with scope, a twelve gauge shotgun and some stacks of ammo boxes sitting in a messy pile.
“Nice, so where the fuck are we going?”
“Oakland, I guess. I heard that area hasn’t been overrun yet. Plus mom is there, what about your girlfriend Kim?”
**Unconcerned** “Fuck them, don’t you see Tanner…were on our own. If the outbreak spread to Los Angeles…it’s going to spread to Oakland.”
**Angry** “FOR FUCK SAKES JAMES, DO YOU EVER GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE!!!”
**Sarcastically** “Oh alright Saint Tanner, you have shown me the light!!!”
“Look, arguing is not going to help us out brother **Depressed** you’re right, Mom, Riley, Kim, Van, Banks…there’s nothing we can do about them. We can only hope that they are okay.”
**Chuckling** “C’mon Tanner, Mom and Riley are Vincent’s…were fucking survivors man…in fact, I’ll bet you twenty bucks that Marshall is kicking some cannibal ass right now.”
“I guess your right, but I wouldn’t call those things cannibals.”
“Their faces were pale; they looked like the ones from that shitty movie last night, what the fuck was the name?”
“For fuck sakes, Dawn of the Dead is a fucking classic brother; do not trash that fucking movie.”
“That’s it, holy shit…we really are experiencing a zombie outbreak. Remember when we used to play zombies in the back yard in Oakland? **Looks at his Nokia cell phone** Now who the fuck is sending a message? It better not be a cry for help…**Irritated** WARRIOR…crazy shit is happening, no fucking shit **continues reading** get to the Suicide Zone immediately.
**Worried** “BAKERSFIELD? No Vincent, we can’t go there…”
“Bakersfield is closer than Oakland Tanner, what’s the problem?”
“Bakersfield was on the list of cities overrun. It would be fucking suicide going there.”
“Of course Tanner, its home to the suicide zone. We haven’t been on a road trip in forever. How much gas do you have?”
“The ram has two tanks, but don’t change the fucking subject. Were not going to Bakersfield. Were going to camp outside Los Angeles and wait for things to settle down.”
“But you said yourself, San Fran, Los Angeles, the outbreak has spread to all of these places, the National Guard is handling this, the way I see it, this outbreak is going to last for a long fucking time. If Warrior texted me, he’s probably called the entire roster, plus other staff members, we could make the Suicide Zone our own.”
“Like in Dawn of the Dead?”
“Wait a minute? I changed the channel after the apartment building scene, what did I miss?”
“Only the best fucking part of the movie…alright fine will go to Bakersfield. We’ve got enough food to last us about a week, will take turns driving.”
“ROAD TRIP **Puts in Tanners mix tape in the player, Born to Be Wild comes on** du du du, du du DAH NAH NAH.”
“You’re fucking crazy James, bat shit crazy.”
The scene ends with the black van speeding down a rural road with the city of Los Angeles in the background as the pillars of smoke form into one large cloud that looms above the city of chaos.
Santa Monica, Los Angeles California, August 30, 2009
It’s a typical hot, dry day on the Santa Monica beach, the camera pans towards Tanner Vincent’s new house which once belong to his younger brother. It still has the same white chipped walls, messy shingles and long grass with dry/light brown patches all over the place. Behind the house, James Vincent’s black 75 Chevy nova sits outside the small rusty brown garage in the back yard, James Vincent paces around the car slightly irritated and wearing a white tank top, dark ripped blue jeans, polished leather biker boots and a Manny Ramirez Los Angeles Dodgers home jersey un-buttoned. He bangs on the top of the hood.
“So what’s the fucking problem?”
A shirtless Tanner Vincent reveals himself from under the hood wearing blue jeans with his toned skin covered in dirt and oil.
**Concerned** “I have no clue James, this is mind boggling. It is an old vehicle.”
“That’s horse shit Tanner, that’s a brand new engine block. It shouldn’t be making that clinking sound.”
**Wiping off his hands** “It could be anything brother, loose screw, loose parts, hell there could be a fucking pebble in there. Taking apart the entire engine piece by piece is the only solution I see at the moment.”
“Well that’s fucking great; this day just keeps getting better. I had to lie my way through three fucking police checkpoints to get here, this H1N1 shit is getting ridiculous."
“I’ve been watching the news and that shit looks serious, from what I’ve heard San Francisco is being overrun by riots.”
“This is fucking California Tanner, since the 60’s there’s been riots everywhere. I bet this new shit started because someone got shot, they decided to stick the H1N1 story as a cover-up. **two UH-1 Iroquois fly over** AND I’M GETTING FUCKING SICK OF THESE GODDAMNED HELICOPTERS FLYING OVER, IT’S A FUCKING FLU FOR FUCK SAKES!!!”
**Changing the subject** “You want a beer Jimmy?”
**Calmed down** “Brilliant idea Tanner, we can drink away our sorrows.”
Tanner runs into the house while I watch fleets of helicopters fly over the house. It all started when a few people who were already “fucked up” died then all of a sudden the H1N1 virus became the talk of the world, the stories became even more surreal and the threats of global pandemic became louder, first it was a few police patrols, now military personnel were flooding into California since the San Francisco crisis. Everywhere I went street side prophets and local drunks were screaming “THE END IS NIGH”, I can’t help but think two things, either the American Government has really mind-fucked us, or the end is really near.
Suddenly a wall of dust and gravel gets blown in my face; I look up only to see a dark green helicopter hovering above the house. A loud intercom rings throughout the neighborhood “ATTENTION, PLEASE REMAIN IN YOUR HOMES; SANTA MONICA IS OFFICIALLY UNDER A STATE OF EMERGENCY”. I ignore the rest as I run around the house and into the front yard where the Helicopter touches down in the middle of the road; shit is really starting to get exciting.
A small squad of National Guard soldiers carrying M16’s and M4 Carbines and wearing dark green camouflage uniforms hop off the helicopter. Four soldiers head in a different direction while another four head toward James Vincent who is standing in awe in the front yard, while the helicopter quickly takes off. James waves his arms and starts yelling at the soldiers but he is interrupted quickly by the large bulky squad leader who approaches James while the other three men cautiously hold their rifles in the background. The sound of multiple helicopters fills the neighborhood.
**Stern** “CIVILIAN!!! Get inside the house IMMEDIATELY!!!”
**Confused** “WHAT’S GOING ON?”
“I WON’T ASK AGAIN!!! Get inside the house IMMEDIATELY, Santa Monica is in a state of emergency.”
“The only state of emergency that I see here is a bunch of wannabe soldiers flexing their fucking muscles.”
**Irritated, points his rifle at James** “LAST ORDER, GET INSIDE YOUR HOUSE IMMEDIATELY OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED.”
The other soldiers start to show their lack of experience pointing their rifles at James nervous and anxiously and looking at each other in confusion. James still doesn’t back away and moves closer to the old squad leader.
“FOR WHAT? Utilizing my rights as an American fucking citizen while a Sgt. Hartman wannabe screams in my face.” **Shoves the soldier**
The squad leader smacks James in the gut with his modified M4 Carbine sending James on his knees, then he knees James in the nose sending him hard on his back while small streams of blood trickle down his nose. The squad leader is starting to show signs of a nervous breakdown and he draws out his black M9 Beretta and points it at James who covers his nose. The rest of the soldiers are shocked at their superior officer’s actions.
**Cocks his gun** “Now I won’t ask again, GET INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE…OR I’LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT. I can call it…self defense!!!”
So this is how the story ends, killed by a traumatized soldier, not even a real soldier too, a fucking National Guard serviceman, the branch that the kids with rich political connections join so they didn’t have to get their feet dirty in Vietnam and now Iraq. I try to come up with something witty before my demise but at the last second a silver BMW speeds across the front yard like a bat out of hell missing me by an inch and punting the squad leader who’s head bounces off the glass while his body twists and twirls in midair like a gymnast before planting head first into the lawn. Although he’s dead, his left eye gives me the thousand yard stare while blood gushes down his face.
James gets up and stares at the silver BMW, with it’s rear sticking out of the house next door, pillars of smoke emerge from the wreckage while an older man in his 50’s with a wife beater and a large beer belly looks at the car in fear from inside the house. The three remaining soldiers begin to panic, now that their squad leader has been killed before their eyes. One of the younger soldiers takes command and signals the other two to check on the vehicle while he runs toward the dead soldier and checks his pulse ignoring James who looks around the neighborhood as the sound of small explosions and bursts of fire erupt and pillars of smoke pop up from different sides of the neighborhood. More helicopters fly over the neighborhood and toward the emerging pillars of smoke and fire.
Screams of terror from a man comes from the wreckage while two soldiers check on them. The soldier next to James stops checking his superiors pulse and he grabs a small phone set.
**Shaky voice** “Shield to command, Sgt. Phelps has been KIA’d. I repeat KIA over…” **Mumbling comes from the radio “Understood, Shield out!!! **Looks at James with sympathy** Look, shit is getting heavy down here, the riots have hit Los Angeles, now please…stay inside your house until further notice.” **Gives James a stern look before heading toward the wreckage**
**Confused** “But Why? What’s causing these riots?”
The soldier ignores James as he runs toward the rubble, James stands in the background watching the crash.
But things took a horrifying turn, I watched the smashed backseat window as spurts of blood started to pile up on the back window, something was rolling around in the back seat while the driver continued to scream for help in agony, the two grunts pulled the man out of the vehicle, his white dress shirt was covered in blood and he continued screaming at the soldiers to help his wife. One of the soldiers opened the passenger door, then suddenly a child wearing a blue t shirt and black shorts leaped out of the vehicle toward the soldier, I thought he was glad to be out of the car, but that all went down the tubes when the boy lunged at the soldiers biting him in the neck.
Suddenly he started to shoot his rifle in panic hitting another soldier several times and send a couple of bullets whizzing right past me with a whoosh sound. I watched “fearless leader” unload his M16 on his fellow soldier putting multiple bullets into the child and the soldier. Suddenly the Husband gets back on his feet like The Undertaker, and then a younger girl with curly blonde hair and a light purple dress comes out of the vehicle. I look on as the poor Private goes down in the blaze of glory while the husband and daughter begin to snack on him. Cannibals, we’ve got cannibals in our yard…then I started to shit bricks…not literally.
As I gaze into the pale faces of the cannibals I have an epiphany…the flu…the fucking flu!!! I have no time to investigate further as daddy, his little girl and now the brown haired wife slowly creep toward me, and shit is starting to turn into Thriller. I grab the Sgt’s rifle and Beretta while the Addams Family makes their move; their abnormally pale skin reminds me of some cheap sleazy B movie I watched the night before. I cock the assault rifle, my experiences with rifles is limited at best…it’s times like these I wish my old man took me out hunting instead of Tanner. I aim the rifle at the father and I pull the trigger unleashing a surprising burst of fire completely missing the father but hitting his broad on the arm who doesn’t flinch. I look at the small switch on the side of the rifle “semi”, “full”, and “burst”. I flick the switch to full auto…I feel like a kid in the candy store all of a sudden.
More relaxed, James pulls back on the trigger unleashing a wall of bullets at the trio, one bullet goes right through the head of the father who falls down instantly while the wife’s chest is turned into Swiss cheese…she falls over from the barrage. The small daughter evades the gun fire and makes her way toward James with her mouth and dress covered in blood. The gun starts to click signaling that it is empty…James presses the trigger in frustration then he shrugs and smacks the pale child in the face with the stock of the rifle knocking her down but not out. James is bewildered.
**Hysterical** “Damn, The Asylum could use someone like you.”
The girl gets back on her feet slowly but it doesn’t last for long…a black Dodge Ram Van comes crashing out of the worn down wood garage door speeding toward James and the girl, the van swerves away from James running over the kid causing blood and guts to explode on the front of the vehicle. The van does a 360 nearly flipping over in the process and the tinted passenger door opens with Tanner sitting in the front seat.
**Scared** “Were getting the fuck out of here!!!”
James looks around the neighborhood one last time before getting in the van. Tanner slams on the gas and goes careening down the neighborhood.
**Angry** “PERFECT FUCKING TIMING BRO!!!”
“I saw the whole thing unfold from inside, I was packing up the van incase you didn’t notice.”
In the back seat sits a makeshift bed, pile of clean and dirty clothes and stacks of canned food and a large blue Coleman cooler. Sitting on the bed is a .22 hunting rifle with scope, a twelve gauge shotgun and some stacks of ammo boxes sitting in a messy pile.
“Nice, so where the fuck are we going?”
“Oakland, I guess. I heard that area hasn’t been overrun yet. Plus mom is there, what about your girlfriend Kim?”
**Unconcerned** “Fuck them, don’t you see Tanner…were on our own. If the outbreak spread to Los Angeles…it’s going to spread to Oakland.”
**Angry** “FOR FUCK SAKES JAMES, DO YOU EVER GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE!!!”
**Sarcastically** “Oh alright Saint Tanner, you have shown me the light!!!”
“Look, arguing is not going to help us out brother **Depressed** you’re right, Mom, Riley, Kim, Van, Banks…there’s nothing we can do about them. We can only hope that they are okay.”
**Chuckling** “C’mon Tanner, Mom and Riley are Vincent’s…were fucking survivors man…in fact, I’ll bet you twenty bucks that Marshall is kicking some cannibal ass right now.”
“I guess your right, but I wouldn’t call those things cannibals.”
“Their faces were pale; they looked like the ones from that shitty movie last night, what the fuck was the name?”
“For fuck sakes, Dawn of the Dead is a fucking classic brother; do not trash that fucking movie.”
“That’s it, holy shit…we really are experiencing a zombie outbreak. Remember when we used to play zombies in the back yard in Oakland? **Looks at his Nokia cell phone** Now who the fuck is sending a message? It better not be a cry for help…**Irritated** WARRIOR…crazy shit is happening, no fucking shit **continues reading** get to the Suicide Zone immediately.
**Worried** “BAKERSFIELD? No Vincent, we can’t go there…”
“Bakersfield is closer than Oakland Tanner, what’s the problem?”
“Bakersfield was on the list of cities overrun. It would be fucking suicide going there.”
“Of course Tanner, its home to the suicide zone. We haven’t been on a road trip in forever. How much gas do you have?”
“The ram has two tanks, but don’t change the fucking subject. Were not going to Bakersfield. Were going to camp outside Los Angeles and wait for things to settle down.”
“But you said yourself, San Fran, Los Angeles, the outbreak has spread to all of these places, the National Guard is handling this, the way I see it, this outbreak is going to last for a long fucking time. If Warrior texted me, he’s probably called the entire roster, plus other staff members, we could make the Suicide Zone our own.”
“Like in Dawn of the Dead?”
“Wait a minute? I changed the channel after the apartment building scene, what did I miss?”
“Only the best fucking part of the movie…alright fine will go to Bakersfield. We’ve got enough food to last us about a week, will take turns driving.”
“ROAD TRIP **Puts in Tanners mix tape in the player, Born to Be Wild comes on** du du du, du du DAH NAH NAH.”
“You’re fucking crazy James, bat shit crazy.”
The scene ends with the black van speeding down a rural road with the city of Los Angeles in the background as the pillars of smoke form into one large cloud that looms above the city of chaos.