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Post by rodriguez on Dec 16, 2007 4:30:44 GMT -5
Tell me what you thought? Description: Favorite line: Was it a good scene?: Was the colors good enough to read?: Overall: Extra Notes: Lol I wrote this rp while I smoked some Capital C's  |
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Post by Immanuel Taylor on Dec 16, 2007 4:49:47 GMT -5
Hmm well I think that if you waited on this RP a bit longer it could have came out a bit better. Like I felt it was rushed or something mainly due to the description. It was ok but I didn't feel like I was in the scene. Other than that, there were many grammar mistakes but I think that's all my negative views. I think the storyline with the Anonymous man is cool, and you did talk enough about your opponents. Good Job, just watch out for the grammar mistakes they'll bite you in the ass  |
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Post by Jeremy Sterling on Dec 16, 2007 10:25:59 GMT -5
The roleplay was good, with as Lincoln pointed out grammatical errors. There also could have been more description in it, but again that's what Lincoln had said and now it appears that I am simply copying him.
However, the roleplay overall was an interesting one as at first it appeared that you had recieved numerous e-mails from a sister-in-law that nobody likes, so immediately after reading that I wanted to know why nobody liked her, so perhaps you could expand on that.
As for the e-mail from Anonymous I thought it was a good message and is building up for a storyline, however I would probably need to go read past roleplays to understand better the storyline. The routes that you could actually take with that storyline though, are amazing. This has a ton of potential to launch you into a title scene.
Overall I'd say that the roleplay was pretty good, could improve, but it was a good roleplay. Oh and I loved the ending with Trent Reznor as those were probably my favorite lines, even though I don't yet understand where they came from.
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